


Tightrope

by oscarwilderobbieross



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fuck Sazed my dudes, M/M, Taako's past, Trauma, and episode 55, i love it when taz get's real, this is me dealing with Taako's backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 23:35:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9521015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscarwilderobbieross/pseuds/oscarwilderobbieross
Summary: Taako is dealing with the effects of Wonderland, and Kravitz is there to help him heal.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 55 fucked me up, and I never forgot about Taako's past. I thought I would get some emotions out by writing this, unbeta'd and raw.

Taako never thought about Sazed. Before the chalice made the three of them relive their past and gave them the option to correct past mistakes, he’d tried his best to erase his former right hand man from his mind.

 

The trip through Wonderland took a lot from them, and since they returned he’d taken to spending his time alone, in his room. The many mirrors in his room had been covered up, and he burned through his spell slots to keep his disguise in place. He didn’t know why he was terrified, but he felt like he was walking on a tightrope, barely balancing his sanity and battling against his vanity. His face had always been his golden ticket, charisma and beauty had never harmed anyone. Cooking for traveling companies and fending for himself had given him skills and endurance he was thankful for, but the cooking show had been his **true** passion.

 

He had entertained Sazed, thankful for his help and happy to mentor him, in a way, but he was also very protective of this thing he’d build for himself. Once Sazed mentioned co-hosting, a fear had gripped Taako tightly, a fear of being pushed out, of being replaced. He’d played it off like he did so well, using Sazed’s admiration against him. It might have been cruel, but Taako had nothing but this, ownership of a brand he worked tooth and nail to maintain.

 

It hadn’t even been his fault, not nightshade but arsenic. Jealousy at the cost of innocent lives. Jealously to destroy him. After a two days ride, he was alone again. Surviving again..

 

Kravitz wasn’t Sazed, Taako knew this, but the thought of Kravitz seeing him like this, plain and completely uninteresting.. It made him feel sick to his stomach, and not even Magnus and Merle could help him. He shut them out as much as possible, and they had the decency to keep from mentioning the covered mirrors when they brought him food.

 

Angus entertained him sometimes, showing him his spells, and reading from the books he took from the library, and Taako didn’t want to send him away. Angus was young and thought the world of him, which made Taako wonder if he’d turn on him eventually, like Sazed did.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course Kravitz would show up eventually, and Taako refused the urge to shove him back inside his portal once he stepped out of it, right into his room. It was not usual for Kravitz to just invade his privacy like this, but maybe one of the other two told him about the lock that had been securely in place during the day. Seeing his handsome face felt like a gut punch, and he turned away from him, no spell slots left for the day. A shiver pulled through him as Kravitz put an icy hand on his shoulder, and he curled in on himself, sobs making his entire body shake.

 

They only got worse as Kravitz distanced himself from him, scared that the touch caused him to break down. “Taako, what’s the matter?” The shaky reply of “No problem at all, I’m perfectly alright..” didn’t convince, and he took a deep breath to steady himself before he straightened up again. He wiped his nose, glancing at Kravitz through his, extremely dull, hair.  

 

“Wonderland fucking sucked.”

 

Kravitz sighed, stepping closer but still not touching him. “You don’t have to turn away from me, dear. I’m a skeleton, vanity is not for me-“

 

“-But it is for me. How can I appear on tv when no one will look at me?”

 

“I’ll look at you. If you let me.”

 

Taako chuckled weakly, shoving a lock of hair behind his ear roughly before turning around, his mouth pulled down bitterly. “There’s nothing special about me! I’m just a plain, clumsy idiot!” Something broke inside of him, anger that had been boiling for a long time. “I almost died, and let two people that are far better people than I am, to fight a impossible battle alone! Merle lost an eye and still sacrificed his health for me! Both him and Magnus risked losing important memories, and I could only think about the bliss of being able to forget Sazed!”

 

He let out a shuddering sigh, flinching in spite of himself as he thought back to the black smoke. He unclenched fists he didn’t realise he’d tightened, hands shaking and then enveloped by Kravitz’ icy ones, still careful. “You know that Sazed can’t hurt you anymore?” It wasn’t condescending, just a question asked softly and lovingly. “..Yeah, but I made him hurt people. If I had just given him what he wanted.. If I hadn’t been so selfish.. I should have listened to that damn cup.”

 

“ _Taako_.”

 

“I could have prevented it.”

 

“Who’s to say he wouldn’t have tried on any other occasion, Taako? Envy is powerful.”

 

Taako sighed, weary of his own guilt and anger. He was thankful for the clammy hand on his cheek, feeling cool lips press against his forehead. “Time and fate have laid out a path for you, my darling. A path that led you here.”

 

“To the moon?” Kravitz couldn’t help but chuckle at that, smiling at him fondly, and Taako thought that might be his favourite view in the universe. “On this adventure. This quest. With Merle and Magnus. Faith allowed you to meet them.”

 

“You have a point there, my dude.. Will you stay with me?”

 

“Of course.”


End file.
